June 1st Entry
Today was the worst. After two weeks of almost perfect dieting, or rather normal eating, I gave in and had a binge after a horrible night. Funny enough my binge eating isn’t usually connected to “bad nights”. What I think happened was that my hard “bad” feelings made me more susceptible to giving into the binges I had been suppressing… Which really sucks shit. I mean like so far the binge is definitely a binge but could be a lot bigger and to be honest I am on the verge of getting more food right now, like might as well enjoy it while I’m riding on the way down. But at the same time I know that if I stop now thats just that much less back up the mountain I will have to climb tomorrow. I just don’t know ARGGHHH
Question #1: Control
Is the basis of your wishes a desire to exert control over other’s feelings, to will them to feel as you wish they would?